More importantly, how did I get so far off track?
When I finished undergrad, I worked part-time as a nanny. This gave me a lot of time to refocus my efforts on becoming a writer. I listened to podcasts like “I Should be Writing” and “Story Wonk Sunday.” I joined a writers’ group that met at a local library branch. I began working on a children’s series called “Super Susie” and attended a children’s writing workshop event at a local park. I even volunteered in the library at the children’s school and investigated a local master’s in library science program.
Eventually, practicality got the best of me, and I found a job with benefits working for a bankruptcy trustee. In the self-help world, I’ve heard this referred to as “drifting.” I drifted along into a practical office job because it was what I thought I was supposed to do. It was what I believed was expected of me.
I have never “won” NaNoWriMo, but I’ve started it a couple times since I started my boring, grown-up job six years ago. It was harder to start when I went back to school to get a master’s degree in accounting. I enjoy accounting, but the tedium of bankruptcy and accounting can be draining. For entertainment, I often listen to podcasts. In fact, I listen almost every day between taking lunchtime walks at work or turning them on while I cook or clean at home.
I once heard that you should pay attention to who or what you are jealous of because that can tell you what you want and help you know yourself better. I may have heard this from Gretchen Rubin’s podcast, which is interesting, because it’s Gretchen Rubin who I envy. I don’t think I’ll ever write a self-help book, and I don’t have a thick enough skin for podcasting, but when she talks about working as a writer and researching for her writing, I long for that life. I don’t just want to write; I want to BE a writer. I might make more money in the business world, but I don’t think I can allow myself to commit to that life for the rest of my working years.
Something recently brought me back to this longing to be a writer, and I’m not even sure what it was. Maybe my recent trip to Paris and New York made me realize I can’t survive cooped up in an office for the rest of my life. I re-subscribed to Mur Lafferty’s “I Should be Writing” podcast recently. Then I bought her “I Should be Writing” Writer’s Workshop book. Then I found some more writing books at a book fair. I started working with some characters that have been forming in my head. A cozy mystery seems to be evolving.
Of course, the main character is an accountant.